Knock, knock mo suckras!

If you don’t already know what I’m about to tell you I really hope you are sitting down for this one.

Burger King, the fifth ranked fast food joint in the nation according to qsr magazine, is making history with a (quite possibly risky) move of. . .


That’s right! Ten, juicy, tender, mouth-waterizing, golden chicken nuggets just like mom used to make for the same price I would willingly change a diaper for.

So as soon as you’re done replacing the eyes that just popped out of your head from seeing this amazing deal, I think it’s best we use those peepers to peep into what in the world is actually going on here. Something fishy is going on here and I just can’t quite put my finger on it.


Wait a minute. . .

You guys seeing what I’m seeing?

Those sneaky little foxes...

Those sneaky little foxes…

These bad boys aren’t advertising chicken nuggets, they’re advertising “nuggets”! What in God’s Earth is a nugget anyway?!

 a small lump of gold or other precious metal found ready-formed in the earth.
What’s the big idea? Unless their target audience is aspiring geologists, I’m sure Burger King isn’t selling “precious metals” from the earth at such outstanding prices. So it brings us to the questions:

Are these nuggets, chicken nuggets, and, if they are, can this much chicken (assuming thats what it is) be sold this cheap while still benefiting the company? Will this be enough to push Burger King to the top of QSR’s fast food ranking chart? Will anyone ever read my blogs?!

As a dedicated food blogger and enforcer of justice, I will google all that needs google-ing to answer these questions for my loyal fans.

EXHIBIT A: Dr. Josh Axe

Dr. Josh Axe is a man on a mission to “provide you and your family with the highest quality nutrition tips and healthy recipes in THE WORLD” This man has set himself to a different standard, he has authored three books, is a physician for athletes all over the world, and is probably going to live until he’s 150 because if you could just see a picture of this guy you’re eyes would burn from the essence of his health.

Dr. Josh Axe has broken down these “Chicken Nuggets” as unhealthy hydrogenated oil, a “frightening” amount of sodium, TBHQ and dimethylpolysiloxane (a filler used in breast implants), and a wheat content that alone can damage your health.

So what? The question is, are these chicken nuggets or what?

Dr. Axe says, “A recent study published in the American Journal of Medicine has found that 60% of the meat in a chicken nugget is actually fat, blood vessels, ground bone and gristle.”

So there you have it, they should change this add to “10pc fat, blood vessels, ground bone and gristle for $1.49”. That legitimately sounds like a better deal.

If enough people read this blog, I predict Burger King will never make it to the top of QSR Magazine’s top ten fast food rankings.